This article, How To Know That Your Marriage Is About To Crash – Part 1, is the first part in its two-part series to be published next Wednesday and Friday. Look out for them.
The major reason many men and women go into marriage is to ‘settle down’ and have a peaceful and a fruitful family. True or false?
While things work out well for some people, for some people the opposite is the case. The question I sometimes ask concerning this is: why do some people enjoy their marriage while some live with regrets for a long time and sometimes forever? Can you help me out with an answer?
Challenges in marriages usually come in different forms. It could be poverty, making it difficult for couples to afford some of their basic needs; childlessness, which some couples see as a reproach; or incessant misunderstandings, as a result of disagreements, among others factors.
Challenges in marriage oftentimes lead to conflicts among couples, and nobody likes the life of conflict. Do you?
When conflict creeps into a marriage, a lot of bad or unusual things begin to happen. Such an unusual situation usually starts when one spouse says something that irritates the other party.
From there voices get raised and tempers flare, igniting an emotional charged argument with caustic remarks. Then comes icy silence, with both mates stubbornly refusing to talk to each other.
In time, the anger subsides and sometimes apologies are exchanged. Peace is restored – at least until the next disagreement.
Another all-too-common scenario goes like this; A woman marries a man who, to her, seems to be a picture of charm and courtesy. But slowly he begins to change.
Words of affection, which he was know for, are replaced by biting sarcasm and belittling criticism. At first, she brushes it off as clumsy and affectionate teasing.
However, things escalate into recurring pattern of verbal attacks, outbursts of anger, and expression of deep remorse. Somehow feeling responsible for the behaviour, the woman suffers in silence, hoping that things will change for the better. But they hardly do.
Her husband takes to yelling and screaming at her. During one fit of rage, he even gives her a violent shove! She fears that next time he will hit her.
Because of this ugly trend, marital spats have formed an endless stream of jokes and story lines of radio and television programmes, newspaper and magazine columns, as well as beer parlour and town-square discussions. Yet the reality is far amusing.
The pertinent question that should be answered here is: Why do couples who go into marriage envisioning a happy family end up experiencing marital conflict?
The answer is not far-fetched. The Bible provides the answer when it realistically acknowledges that those who marry are likely to have “pain and grief.” – I Corinthians 7:28, The New English Bible.
The Bible was able to foresee that obstacle because of the person behind it: Jehovah. He has the power to see and to know the beginning and the end of a person, a place or a thing, – Isaiah 46:10
From this, you’re free to conclude that God is always aware of the challenges we pass through. However, that does not mean that He’s the cause of such challenges.
…to be continued
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