This is the concluding part of my story, The Wrong Reason To Get Married, which has Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and this final part, The Wrong Reason To Get Married – Part 4. Reading every one of them would help you understand the meat of the entire story.
After his first tenure as a Councillor, Ifeanyi moved to his next level by winning an election into the Federal House of Representatives, one of the two legislative bodies at the Nigeria’s National Assembly, NASS. This was made possible by his achievements as a councillor and the massive support he received from his political god-father.
With that massive success, he began to consider the idea of marrying a second wife, preferably, a well-educated brand, who could stand, speak confidently in the public, and complement his political activities.
Eventually, he found one that matched his specification. Immediately after that, bigger trouble set into his marriage, causing peace to escape through their window.
As jealousy set in, Favour began to hunt Ifeanyi with hired assassins. No wonder my late maternal grandmother told me that there’s nothing good in polygamy.
Who would you blame in this circumstance, Ifeanyi or his wife Favour? For me, both of them have to be blamed?
How?
I’ll tell you!
Let me start with Favour. I blame her for refusing to go to school, even when money was not her problem. She’s therefore the cause of the smoke that she’s suffering from.
For Ifeanyi, I have two blames for him. One, for not thinking twice before rewarding Favour’s kindness to him with marriage.
God sent Favour to assist him when he had an accommodation problem. But he made a mistake in the way he showed her his appreciation. He married for the wrong reason. He was simply a good example of the title of this story, The Wrong Reason To Get Married.
How?
There are many ways anybody can express his or her appreciation to another person who did something good to him or her. It all depends on the people involved and the nature of the good deed that was done and received.
For me, if I do not love and/or not sure to marry a woman who offered me one form of help or the other, I may decide to reward her in other different ways, including cash, setting up a business for her or assisting her to fortify her existing business, among other, instead of marry her out of sympathy.
My second blame for Ifeanyi is for marrying a second wife, even as a Christian. My question for him concerning this is: are there no successful politicians in Nigeria, whose wives are illiterates? Of course, there are!
Apart from Ifeanyi and Favours’s story, I have listened to some couples, who said: “I married my husband because of what he did for me when I was single,” “I married him because he sent me to school,” and “If not for what she did for me, I wouldn’t have married her.”
Marrying somebody on the grounds of appreciation, sympathy, pity or as a repayment for a help received is not the way to go, except there’s a genuine love in such an exchange. The best way to go is for you to marry somebody on the platform of genuine love.
Finally, I want to say here, categorically, that it is not advisable for you or anybody to marry a person on account of good deeds, which I prefer to call “marriage out of sympathy.” Every marriage should be based on genuine love, which is free of anything evil, and not on anything else!
If woman or a man showed you love by offering you an assistance, don’t be forced to promise her/him marriage. Instead of promising her/him marriage or marrying her/him and later dumping her like a refuse, please, find another better way of compensating or settling her.
If you marry a person because of his or her good deed towards you, and not based on genuine love, such marriage would always be comparable to a timed-bomb, which must explode when the time comes, unless there’s a divine intervention.
So, marry for love and not out of sympathy or as a means of compensation. Marrying out of sympathy is the wrong reason to get married that this story is all about.
THE END.
