Before I completed my secondary education at St. Roses Girls Grammar Schhol, Ogwashi-Uku, Roland had secured an admission to study accountancy at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, one of Nigeria’s foremost universities. He informed me about it and I was very happy for him, if not for any other thing, but for the fact that he was the father of my first-ever baby.
It was my wish to be given a university education as was offered Roland, but there was nobody to grant me my wish. My mother was anxious to send me to the university, but she hadn’t the financial power to do so. In the absence of a university education, I was forced to go into an early marriage with another man.
While Roland was in the university, he never failed to ask after me and after our son, David, neither did his parents fail to provide for us, even though I was now married to another man. One of the factors that encouraged them to do so was for the simple fact that David had a striking resemblance with their own son, Roland.
On completion of his university education in flying colours, Roland applied and won a federal government of Nigeria scholarship to study financial and cost accounting in one of the universities in the United States of America.
As he was preparing to complete his first degree progamme in US, he won another scholarship that enabled him to complete both his Masters and doctorate programmes, also in financial and cost accounting.
Several years later, Elsie, my daughter, whom I had for my legal husband, completed her secondary education and travelled to the United States for her university education. While there, she met a man she planned to marry.
I was very excited when she wrote to inform me about it. I was happy because it’s always the joy of most parents, especially mothers, to see and witness their children marry in their life-time.
My joy over my daughter’s good news was however short-lived. My joy went into flames when I discovered that the man she planned to marry was the same Roland, the father of her own half-brother, David.
Immediately after that worrisome and embarrassing discovery, I started discouraging her about it. I did all I could to make her see reason from my own perspective, but she couldn’t be persuaded to the contrary. Not even when my parents and Roland’s parents also condemned the idea.
When it became glaring to every one of us that Elsie and Roland were bent on marring each other and were not ready to listen to my entreaties nor to see reason with any other person, we decided to leave them to please themselves. And today, they live happily in Baltimore, Maryland, with their children.
Because of the circumstances surrounding Elsie and Roland’s marriage, I had to turn down their invitation for me to visit them in U.S. when their first baby came. I however, had a change of mind when the pastor of my church advised me to forgive them and forget all that has happened. Since then, I’ve been visiting them in the U.S. especially whenever they have a new baby.
It was during that period of trying moments that I learnt the need for forgiveness. Since God forgave me for having a baby outside wedlock, so have I forgiven my daughter and her husband for disobeying me.
With what happened between me, on one hand, and Elsie and her husband, on the other hand, I no longer see the world the way I used to see it when I was very young. I now see the world from different perspectives.
One, I now see the world as a place where anything can happen anytime. Two, as a place where anything can happen to anybody. Three, as a place where nobody can predict what would happen next and to whom it might happen to. And finally, as a place that is full of surprises and shocking events.
Before I conclude this story, permit me to ask you a question: What would you have done if you were in my shoes as Elsie’s mother or father? Would you have done anything different from what I did?
Whatever is your opinion, please, give me the opportunity of learning from you by sharing your opinion with me in the comments box below.
Looking forward to reading from you.
Story By Juliet Anazia, a senior staff nurse with one of the Federal Medical Centres in Delta State.
