5 Major Reasons I Married My Mother’s Best Friend. Why Should My Own Be Different?
Many people, including my family friends and relations, were utterly surprised, shocked, and disappointed when they heard that I married my mother’s most intimate friend, Jessica, in December 2018.
They saw it as an abomination of the highest order because she’s older than I am. Abomination against who? Am I the first young man to marry an older woman, whether in Nigeria or elsewhere?
Have we forgotten so soon the stories of French president Emmanuel Macron and Brigitte, his wife, who is 25 years older than him; 49-year-old Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally, age 60, who chronicle their marriage in their aptly-titled book, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told; and Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra?
How about Actress Gabrielle Union, 44, and her husband, Chicago Bulls player Dwyane Wade, 35? and Supermodel Heidi Klum, 43, who has been dating art dealer Vito Schnabel, 30?
Again, according to a 2017 study from dating website EliteSingles, 450,000 of their male users between age 20 and 29 preferred dating an older woman.
I can go on and on with plenty of stories like these, but let me stop here, having made my point. I am not the first, neither will I be the last. Why should my own be different?
The reason I am sharing this story with you here is because the misunderstandings between me on one side and my mother, my relations and my friends on the other side, as a result of my controversial marriage, has since been resolved and settled amicably.
The question that some of my friends and colleagues are still asking me about the marriage and which I want to answer here once and for all is: “Why did you marry a woman who’s older than you, more so, your mother’s very best friend?” After answering this question, I’ll tell you, briefly, how the relationship between me and my mother’s friend started.
There are five (5) reasons I married her. They are:
1. My Mother’s Recommendation Of Her
Each time my mother talked about the woman in my presence, she always spoke glowingly about her, including her good family background, her good behaviour and her respect for other people, old and young.
As “Faith cometh by hearing, hearing by the word of God,” so did every kind word my mother said about her to me kept getting hold of me until it stuck permanently, hence the marriage.
2. Influence Of Certain Foreign Magazines And Websites
I am a fan of so many foreign magazines and Websites, including Right On, Jet, Ebony, Black Beat and Oprahmag.com. I started reading them when I was a little boy in the primary school.
Sometime ago, one of them published a story of young men who married older women. One of the young men said he married his wife without minding that she was older than him, because age was just a number and has nothing to do in the marriage of couples who loved themselves.
Before then, I used to think like an average Nigeria who believes that it is an abomination for a young man to marry a woman who’s older than him. But after reading that story, I became a changed person, as well as ready to marry any woman of my choice, whether she’s older than me or not, hence my marriage to Jessica.
3. My Love For Gifted Women
Part of the sweet stories that my mother usually told me about my wife was that she was a very intelligent person, academically speaking, when they were in the university, a situation I later confirmed for myself.
Apart from being intelligent, she’s aesthetically beautiful and sweet like a delicacy, even at 40. Above all she has a job that takes her round the country, yet she’s never proud.
4. I Love Her
They are people you can never like, even when they did not offend you. My wife is not one of them. I liked her the first time I knew her as my mother’s friend.
As I began to discover so many interesting facts about her, especially from my personal observation of her and through my mother, my like for her became transformed into strong love.
5. Her Life Experiences Are Unspeakable
My wife’s education and the nature of her job, which takes her round the world, gives her the opportunity to acquire different types of knowledge, including cultures, food, languages and behaviours.
All these helped to make her a superwoman of note and a lovable fellow. I wish I’ll one day be as experienced as she is. God willing, I will!
How The Relationship Between Me And My Wife Started | 5 Major Reasons I Married My Mother’s Best Friend. Why Should My Own Be Different?
I promised to let you into how the relationship between me and my wife started. I’ll do that on a lighter mood, as briefly as possible.
Our coming together was a case of divine arrangement. While I was developing a strong feeling for her inside me, she was also doing the same thing inside her.
I discovered this the day my mother sent me to go and collect a novel from her. She was 40 then, while I was 22.
As I was ready to leave her house with the novel, she requested me to sit down for a while as she had something to tell me.
As I sat down on a sofa in her sitting room, she left where she was, dressed closer to where I was, looked directly into my eye-balls and said: “I have been trying to tell you how much I love you, but I never had the opportunity to do so until now.
“It is not normal, by Nigerian standard, for a woman of my age to make this kind of confession to a man who’s far younger than her, but because I love you from the bottom of my heart, I had to take the risk of doing so.
“Again, your mother and I have known each other for years now, since our days in the university. I don’t know how she would feel to discover that you and I are in love. Only God knows!”
Since December 2018 when I married Jessica, I have never had any cause to regret marrying her. Instead of regrets, my love for her has continued to soar like an eagle in the sky.
To God be the glory!
5 Major Reasons I Married My Mother’s Best Friend. Why Should My Own Be Different? THE END.
By Tony I. Idonije
NB: Are you willing to write for this blog? If yes, then, get involved.
